


Even If

by khazadqueen (ama)



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Battle of Five Armies, Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, Foreshadowing, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-08
Updated: 2015-04-08
Packaged: 2018-03-21 20:22:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3704003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ama/pseuds/khazadqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[Even if your love was unconditional / it still wouldn't be enough / to save me]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Even If

**Author's Note:**

> I blame Graham McTavish and Hobbitcon for every goddamn word of this. Set between the weird gold floor scene and Thorin rejoining the company. Title/summary is from Against Me!'s "Unconditional Love."

“Dwalin.”

He knew before he even turned around. He knew Thorin’s voice—as firm as bedrock because he has trained it to be so, but cracking and uncertain beneath. It was more familiar to him than his own breath, and he knew immediately that the dragon was gone. (A different kind of sickness remained. The sickness always remained.) Slowly, Dwalin turned and let his eyes flicker over Thorin’s body, taking in the weariness of his face, the sword hanging at his belt, the gaps in his armor. Thorin’s lips parted.

“Thorin, don’t—”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t say it. Not to me.”

Thorin approached him hesitantly, as one approaches a strange dog, and rested his hand on Dwalin’s shoulder. Dwalin imitated him and they touched their foreheads together with a grateful sigh.

“I will never be free of it,” Thorin whispered. Dwalin was silent, giving him the chance to release the shadows that flitted at the edge of his mind. “I thought it would never come to me. I felt it even in my youth, but it was weak then and I thought I could resist. Yet it haunts our line, never to let us rest. I fell, as my grandfather fell. Worse—I—I laid a hand on Fili in anger, I nearly killed Bilbo, and _you_ …”

“That is not you, Thorin,” Dwalin said firmly. There was no doubt in his heart and—he hoped—none in his voice. “I know you. Don’t I? Better than any other?”

Thorin smiled weakly and inclined his head.

“I know your weakness as well as your strengths, and that isn’t one of them. It is something else, something brought on by that accursed beast. Bilbo and Fili will understand, in time. You will prove it to them. And you are not Thror; you fought it off on your own when he could not. It has not touched Fili or Kili at all. Your line is strong, my king. _You_ are strong.”

Thorin drew back and a bitter smile flickered on his lips. Dwalin’s heart seized at the sight, but he could not put his fear into words.

“Everything I did, I did for them,” Thorin said softly. “And now only this is left.”

“I will follow you, Thorin,” Dwalin said urgently, grasping his arm. “We have fought together since we were young, and _together_ we fight again. Aye?”

“Aye.”

“You will not order me away again?”

“I will not,” Thorin swore.

He leaned forward and gently kissed Dwalin on the lips. Then he turned towards the courtyard, towards the sounds of clashing steel and screams. Dwalin stared after him for a moment and, and followed, trying to convince himself that Thorin was speaking the truth. In his heart, though… he knew.


End file.
